What is BETRAYAL TRAUMA?

Why call it Betrayal?

Betrayal is the violation of a person’s trust by a person or persons who hold a significant place in the individual’s life. The term betrayal trauma is usually used when describing a break in trust between a married couple or long-term relationship, but can also refer to the trauma experienced by:

·        Emotional and/or sexual infidelity by a trusted partner or spouse

• Physical, emotional, sexual or verbal abuse by a partner or spouse

• Abandonment by a parent, partner, spouse or significant other

• Uncovering secretive financial activities

• Parental physical, emotional or sexual abuse

• Institutional or colleague betrayal

• Peer victimization (bullying) or abandonment by trusted friends or sibling

 

In its most common usage, betrayal trauma refers to the pain and traumatic responses experienced by the sexual or emotional infidelity of a spouse or long-term partner.  

What does Betrayal Trauma look like?

Whether the secretive behaviors were discovered accidentally or were disclosed by the partner, victims of betrayal can experience:

• PTSD -like symptoms of hyperarousal, hypervigilance, startle responses, inability to rest or sleep well.

• Mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, panic attacks and phobias

• Desire to isolate themselves from others

• Dissociation: disconnecting from the present to avoid feeling pain.

• Difficulty concentrating on or completing even simple commonplace tasks

• Emotional dysregulation: flight, freeze or fawn behaviors.

• Difficulty trusting themselves or others

• Physical ailments, such as headaches, gastrointestinal issues, inflammation, chronic fatigue

• Increased substance use, or other self-destructive behaviors

• Eating disorders

 

Is Betrayal trauma really Trauma?

 

After experiencing the shock of betrayal, an individual’s brain is likely to undergo changes to cope with the stress. The amygdala, a part of the limbic system within the brain, may become hyperactive, leading to heightened fear responses.  Since the amygdala is key to the processing of strong emotions and memories, it triggers a heightened fight or flight response, resulting in hypervigilance and hyperarousal. The amygdala also links to other brain structures that affect breathing, touch and sensitivity.  Other areas of the brain, such as the hippocampus which is crucial for memory consolidation, may shrink in response, which affects the victim’s ability to process and integrate traumatic memories. Trauma responses resulting from betrayal are often compared to post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms.

 

I’ve been betrayed.  What do I do first?

 

·        Acknowledge your experience.  You have undergone a traumatic event and are likely experiencing some shock.  Be gentle with yourself.

·        Practice mindfulness. Begin to journal your reality, your experiences and your feelings.

·        Seek support.  People who have been betrayed often respond by isolating themselves.  It feels like no one would understand or believe what has happened.  Victims often feel embarrassed, telling themselves that they were somehow at fault. It is important to do the opposite by seeking out supportive relationships and the help of a therapist who understands the effects of betrayal on a victim. In the case of sexual or emotional betrayal, look for a qualified certified sex addiction therapist or partner trauma specialist.

·        Set boundaries with the offender or other difficult persons.  If the person who has betrayed you is currently part of your life, keep yourself safe physically, emotionally and mentally.  A qualified therapist can also walk you through what this may look like in your life.

·        Practice self-care.  Be mindful of maintaining or adding activities that promote good physical and mental well-being.

 

 

Betrayed? Seeking support? 

Contact 2Palms Counseling and schedule an appointment today. Find more info at: https://www.2palmscounseling.com